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He didn't blame her for being ambitious, but surely she could be less narcissistic and realize that he had made sacrifices as well. He had limited visits to the Officers' Club at times when the budget was tight. He had cut out poker altogether while she pursued a Master's degree in marketing. He had watched the kids on Saturdays while she went on business trips to Boulder and Lake Havasu. He had drunk domestic beer when he preferred imported lager. He had lived off the base, when she had asked, so she would be closer to her workplace. He had given up his mid-size pickup so that they could have a part-time maid.Nevertheless, the time for giving and consideration was over. She was determined to only take and not care about his needs at all. His guilt over the damage to her career from his occasional change in stationing was gone. That guilt had been a major advantage of hers in previous arguments. That was over. Richard Mason was going to think of himself for a change.He was well aware. I began questioning why I didn’t have that at home, and that’s what I wanted, the question was, what was I willing to do to get it?? Arriving back home, I tried to rationalize away all of the reasons for trying to give up talking to Tina Lee, because she was keeping me grounded in those days when I just didn’t know what to do, or how to handle the mess I had at home. So I talked to her at work, and when Stacy was away from home, but I still tried to figure out what my feelings were for Stacy, and for the most part, I was drifting further and further away from her. WE would curl up on the couch to watch a movie, and there was no feeling, there was no connection, even with the close quarters that we were in, and going to sleep next to each other at night wasn’t any better. We would sleep with our backs to each other, and barely touch whenever we did lay close to each other. Stacy and I just weren’t a good match for each other, and I kind of knew it, and was afraid to do anything.
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